Sunday, March 27, 2011

Opinions

News
No new updates for this week.

Quote
“Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.”
-Plato

Thoughts
Did you ever meet someone and you knew that you should just keep quiet and listen to what they have to say? Personally I have more than a few times so far in my life. However, I think sometimes people get so concerned with stating their own opinion that they never actually listen to what the other person is saying.

It's interesting that almost everyone has an opinion about everything regardless if they have even the slightest knowledge of the subject matter. People will spout off their opinions at anyone that is willing to listen. People give relationship advice, even though they've been in a string of bad relationships. Perhaps they would be better suited to tell you what you shouldn't do. People give health/workout related advice even though they haven't maintained a workout program for any decent amount of time.

The one that I find most interesting of all is business advice. Someone decides they are going to start a business and all of a sudden everyone around you is an expert. Most will give you a list of reasons why your business will fail and yet most of the time these people have never run their own business. Even the so called experts aren't always right. I'll share two stories with you. One from 2008 and one from one of my recent meetings.

In 2008, while I was still a defense contractor, I was in Tokyo for a few months doing some analysis work. One night I was out at a bar with a coworker of mine and this group of older business women walked in. The oldest one of the group sat down next to me and it turns out she was American. Now I had no idea what this woman did for a living but it appeared she was well known in Tokyo. Anyway, we get to talking and she asked me what I planned on doing over the next five years. I mentioned that I was gong to start a business and eventually a health club. She proceeded to tell me why that will never work (and she knew a vast amount of information related to the health club industry in Korea). So she gives me her business card and it turns out that she was the Asia-Pacific President of a huge international market research company. So she was a recognized expert in her field. And she asked me if that changed my mind. I said no it doesn't. She told me I was a fool and it would be the worst decision I ever made. Anyway, I eventually told her when I become successful I would come back and defecate on her desk. At that point she smiled. She shook my hand and said "Congrats, you will be successful as long as you maintain that attitude.". She then explained that market research can explain almost everything, but one thing that is hard to take into account is passion. She said with enough passion and persistence that anything is possible. With that her and her entourage left.

Now flash forward to 2011. I was in a meeting with the director of a market research company. He proceeds to tell me for almost 30 minutes why this business approach I am taking will never work in Korea. He then tells me to stop wasting my time and give up. He is an expert in his field and he was very adamant in his argument. Did I follow his advice? Of course not. Shortly after this meeting I sold two coaching/training packages to two companies. The funny thing is one of them is one of their rivals. It is another market research company that is ranked higher than them. I now have eight other proposals out. I would say that half of them are looking very good.

What is the point of all this? If you want to make a decision, consult yourself first. Do you really want whatever it is that you are trying to make a decision about? Who knows you better than you? If you decide to seek advice make sure you seek a worthy source. After all, asking someone who is always in debt for financial advice is probably not the best idea.

Have an amazing week.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Where Do You Stand?

News
No new updates for this week.

Quote
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. "
-Martin Luther King, Jr.

Thoughts
It is quite easy to be happy with life when things are going our way. It is easy to stand by our convictions when most people agree with us. But what about the times when nothing seems to be working? What about when most are against you? This is where the challenge lies.

Where do you stand?

1. Do you find yourself generally able to maintain an emotional balance regardless of outside circumstances? If so, then you are off to a great start to achieving your dreams.

or

2. Do you find yourself one day complaining about your boss, coworkers, etc..? Then a few days later you are a happy? Then a few days after that you are back to complaining again?
If so, I will tell you that this will get you nowhere. Riding that emotional roller coaster will not lead you to much progress.

Interestingly enough most people are really not aware that they fall into category two. Why? Because they are not aware of the thoughts that are running through their heads. If you are unsure if you fit into this category, I suggest you :
I. Look back over you facebook status updates, twitter updates, text messages, etc...
II. If you keep a diary, go back through and see how often you fluctuate.
III. Make a conscious effort to become more aware of your thoughts and feelings

Remember, Thoughts cause Feelings cause Actions cause Results.

If you find yourself in category 2, what can you do?
I. Ask yourself, "Do I desire to change?". By the way the answer isn't always yes because some people have become so identified with their fluctuating feelings that it becomes part of their "story".
II. If you desire to change, the next step is to really become aware of your thoughts. You can do this through conscious effort, meditation, keeping a diary, hiring a competent certified coach, etc..
III. Start gaining emotional control. How?
-It starts with your thoughts.
Ex: Suppose you are angry at someone for one reason or another (which generally is caused by a misperception of events).
Do not suppress the feeling. Allow the feeling to go through you but stop adding fuel to the fire. Basically break the thought cycle that automatically starts when you are angry.
Then begin trying to shift your perception: Am I willing to explore other ways to look at this? Is there possibly another way to look at the situation? What can I learn from this situation? etc..

You will then begin the process of gaining emotional control.

By the way, if you are dealing with anger issues, forgiveness issues, etc...I recommend two things:
1. Start to seriously think of every single person as your mother (or another loved one).
2. Every time you think of the person that causes you pain, wish them well. Remember don't suppress the feeling. Ex: I hate xxxx. I wish xxxx would get run over by a truck......but if that doesn't happen I wish them well. Now the trick here is that you must do it every single time you have these thoughts about the person causing you pain.
Two books I recommend on that subject:
-"The Four Noble Truths" by the Dalai Lama
-"Building Your Field of Dreams" by Mary Morrissey

The above steps are not easy. But I can tell you from personal experience that if you keep doing them then they will eventually turn into a habit. Once it becomes a habit it is much easier to do them.

Have an incredible week.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Committment

To the readers in Japan: I wish you well during this trying time.

News
No new updates for this week.

Quote
"There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstance permit. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results."
-Unknown

Thoughts
I wrote the following with the assumption that you actually want what you are seeking (example: You think you need an MBA because so-and-so told you that you do. You say you want to get it, although deep down inside you don't really want to).

Do you find yourself unable to achieve whatever it is that you desire? Perhaps you would like more money, better health, better relationships, etc... but you keep coming up short. You say you've tried your best but it's still not working.
Where can you look for answers?

Two places: Time and Money.

I hear these two excuses the most:
1. I am so busy, I don't have time to do xxxx.
2. I don't have enough money for xxxx.

Time is obviously much more important than money because you can never get time back. So, where do you spend your time? Let's suppose on a typical weekday:
You work 9 hours a day.
You sleep 8 hours.
This leaves you with 7 hours free.
What are you doing with that time? Are you taking effective action?
Of course that doesn't include the weekends which, assuming you don't work on the weekends, means that you have 16 hours of free time on Saturday and 16 hours of free time on Sunday.

So if we add all that up we get 67 hours of free time every week. You get to choose how you use this time. Are you using it to achieve something that you want, or are you wasting it?

The other area you need to look at is money. Where is your money going? Is it going to an area that will move you closer to your desired goal?

Most people say they don't have money for:
Coaching, Training Courses, Personal Trainers, School, etc...

However these same people find money to:
Go out drinking, buy new clothes, shoes, phones, computers, etc...

They have the money they just haven't committed to their goal yet.

Let's use an example:
When I decided to get my coaching certification I was working as an analyst for a defense contractor. My schedule during the week usually looked like this:
Work: 9 hours a day
Gym: 1.5 hours a day (5 days a week)
Sleep: 7 hours a day

That left me with 6.5 hours of free time during a typical weekday.

However I felt I needed to unwind after work. Sound familiar?

So what was I doing with that extra time? In order: Playing video games, Watching TV, Mindlessly browsing the Internet, Occasionally reading a book. Or: Going out and partying.

Then one day I made a decision. I decided that I was committed to pursuing the coaching certification and I was committed to starting my own business.

Here is what my schedule looked like immediately after I made this decision: In order: Coaching training calls, Reading books related to my field, Research.

Since that time I have not played video games and I don't watch TV. Both were not in line with my future goals.

What about money (after paying rent and necessities)?

Before the decision: Partying, Car related items, Workout related items.

After the decision: Coaching certification, Books, Other training courses, Workout related items.

As you can see there was a big shift in priorities. Don't get me wrong, you do need time to relax. However, most people put way too much time and money in that category if they plan on achieving big goals.

The point here is if you want to break out of your current circumstances and start making your dreams become a reality, then you have to stop making excuses.

If you are not getting the results that you want, then I encourage all of you to take a serious look at where you are spending your time and money.

Have an excellent week.



Wednesday, March 9, 2011

5/3/1 Update

Here are some workout updates:

Thursday
Flat Barbell Bench Press: 150x5, 175x5, 195x5
Incline Barbell Bench Press: 110x10, 135x10, 135x10, 135x10, 145x7
Barbell Row (overhand grip): 135x10, 135x10, 180x10, 180x10, 220x8
Incline DB Curl: 30x10, 30x10, 35x7
DB Hammer Curl: 40x8

I had no spotter for the workout so I didn't go all out on bench.

Saturday
ATG Squat: 150x5, 180x5, 200x6*
Cybex Plate Loaded Leg Press: 2ppsx15<--done slowly, but felt some discomfort
DB Lunge: 40x8(reps per leg), 40x8, 40x8, 50x5
Cybex Prone Leg Curl: 90x10, 90x10, 90x10, 90x10, 110x8
Chinups: 12

*The reason for not going heavy with squats is because I've had strange lower back/upper hip discomfort for the past few weeks.

Squats are done with a narrow stance, all the way to the floor.

Monday
Military Press: 100x3, 110x3, 120x6
Dips: 10, 8(+44lb plate), 8(+44lbs), 8(+44lbs), 6(+66lbs)
Pullups: 10, 8, 8, 8, 6(+22lb plate)
Overhead Tricep Extension (EZ Curl bar): 65x10, 65x10, 65x10, 55x22

Tuesday
Rack Pull(1st pin; mid-shin height): 245x3, 275x3, 310x15
Good Mornings: 40x12, 40x10, 65x10, 65x10, 105x8<--done slowly, focusing on strict form
Hanging Leg Raise (Wendler style): 8, 8, 8, 6, 9

I am really enjoying the 5/3/1 program. I think my strength is almost back to normal on most exercises.

Until next time...

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Responsibility

News
There are only two spots left for Bob Proctor's Success Puzzle coaching program starting this Saturday March 12th at 1:00pm.

I have received many questions regarding this coaching program so I'll answer the two most common questions here.

What areas does Success Puzzle cover?
-What does success mean to you?
-What obstacles have held you back in the past? What do you think is holding you back now?
-How have you made decisions in the past? How are you currently making decisions?
-How have you set and prioritized goals?
-What would your ideal life look like?
-Have you made an attempt to balance your life? If so, how?
-What fears do you have?
-etc...

We go over different coaching techniques for dealing with the above questions. Some of the best things about group coaching are that you also get to hear others' stories, you get to see each other grow, and of course it helps keep you committed to your own future.

Will you be offering this program again soon?
I will not be offering Success Puzzle again this year.

As I said this is the program that completely changed my life. I highly recommend this program as an investment towards your future.

Dates: Saturday, March 12th - Saturday, April 30th
Time: 1:00-3:00pm
Number of Sessions: 8

For more information please email: bob@oneamazinglife.com

Quote
"You are the only problem you will ever have and you are the only solution. Change is inevitable, personal growth is always a personal decision."
-Bob Proctor

Thoughts
This quote reminds us to take responsibility for our thoughts and our actions. I know that oftentimes it is so much easier to blame other people for our problems but that doesn't help solve those problems.

I'll use a personal story to help illustrate this point. Many of you have heard the story of my younger brother. He has spent most of his adult life in prison. Most people that know us often ask how could we be so different. That is a great question. So what's the answer?

Well the short answer is one of us took responsibility for our future and one didn't. But that doesn't quite explain everything. So let's go deeper.

Our mother died of brain cancer when I was 13 and my brother was 9. She had been diagnosed with breast cancer when I was around 10 and she beat it, but it came back a short while later as brain cancer. So my brother and I both saw her suffer for two years until she passed away.

Life went on. Our father remarried less than a year after our mother died. We moved into the house where my stepmother lived. Not the best area of Philadelphia. There was a lot of gang violence in that neighborhood and I had my share of fights, getting robbed, etc..
One of the big turning points for me and my brother came when I was about 15 and he was 11. I never ended up joining a gang and he did.

I left Philadelphia when I was 18. I went off and joined the military for five years working as an intelligence analyst and after I got out I worked for six years an intelligence analyst for a private company. For the past two years I have run my own coaching business. My brother ended up in his first juvenile detention center before he turned 15 years old. He ended up going to his first real prison at 18.

To this day my brother still blames my father and stepmother for everything that has happened to him. Interestingly I could have gone down that same path. There were numerous opportunities to join in the insanity that was all around me. But for one reason or another I decided my future was up to me and I left.

Recently my brother just had his face smashed in by rival gang members outside of the house where I grew up. They hit him with a small club repeatedly in the face. He has a broken orbital bone, broken nose and lost almost all his teeth. They left him to die but somehow he managed to come to and make it to a hospital. I am sure my brother and/or his friends will retaliate for the attack and the circle of violence will continue.

Am I any better than my brother? No, of course not. I suppose the only thing you could say is that I am more aware than him. This awareness has led me to make different choices.

The point of all this is that at some point you have to stop and take responsibility for your life. You have to stop blaming your boss, your coworkers, your girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife, your parents/siblings, the government, etc... Once you've identified problems (or perceived problems) ask yourself "What can I do about these problems(legally)?", "What action can I take?". Whatever answer(s) you receive you must act on.

Have an excellent week.