Monday, September 26, 2011

Let it Be

News
No new updates for this week.

Quote
"Let it be."
-The Beatles

My Thoughts
Those three words are perhaps probably the hardest to live by. It can be very difficult in times of struggle and heartache to just let it be. And yet the struggles we go through are what we need to become stronger and wiser. They shape us.

In the midst of struggling it can be very hard to accept that this what is needed for our growth. Many people may not want to learn the lesson from that struggle at that moment in time so they turn away and try to find something to ease their pain. Of course in coaching, we would say something like stop using the word struggle and replace it with something positive like growth opportunity. And that is sound advice for most of life's challenges. But what about when something hurts so deep it cuts through to the core of your being? Simply trying to rephrase it as a growth opportunity is not so easy.

For example: When my Mom died at 13 it changed my world view and I felt very lost for some time. Trying to shift perception from struggle to opportunity would have been incredibly difficult in the few days following her death. Not impossible of course just difficult. Just letting it be, letting time go by helped. It eventually made me stronger and helped me deal with the numerous challenges I faced as I grew older.

For all of you struggling with life's challenges at the moment, I suggest you do your best to let it be. Eventually you will see light at the end of the tunnel. Later you will realize it was beneficial for your growth and be grateful for it.

Have an outstanding week.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Muddy Water

News
No new updates for this week.

Instead of sharing a quote and my thoughts this week, I wanted to share a story.

Story
Once Buddha was walking from one town to another town with a few of his followers.. While they were traveling, they happened to pass a lake. They stopped there and Buddha told one of his disciples, “I am thirsty. Do get me some water from that lake there.”

The disciple walked up to the lake. When he reached it, he noticed that right at that moment, a bullock cart started crossing through the lake. As a result, the water became very muddy, very turbid.

The disciple thought, “How can I give this muddy water to Buddha to drink!”
So he came back and told Buddha, “The water in there is very muddy. I don’t think it is fit to drink.” After about half an hour, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back to the lake and get him some water to drink. The disciple obediently went back to the lake.

This time too he found that the lake was muddy. He returned and informed Buddha about the same. After sometime, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back. The disciple reached the lake to find the lake absolutely clean and clear with pure water in it. The mud had settled down and the water above it looked fit to be had. So he collected some water in a pot and brought it to Buddha.

Buddha looked at the water, and then he looked up at the disciple and said,” See what you did to make the water clean. You let it be…. and the mud settled down on its own – and you got clear water. Your mind is also like that! When it is disturbed, just let it be.

Give it a little time. It will settle down on its own. You don’t have to put in any effort to calm it down. It will happen. It is effortless.

Have an incredible week.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

True Listening

News
No new updates for this week.

Quote
"Perfect health, sincerity, honesty, straightforwardness, courage, disinterestedness, unselfishness, patience, endurance, perseverance, peace, calm, self control are all things that are taught infinitely better by example than by beautiful speeches"
-Sri Aurobindo

My Thoughts
Many people have opinions on almost every subject and are willing to share those opinions with anyone they meet. Oftentimes people have opinions on things that they have little or no experience with. Don't get me wrong sitting around and having deep discussions or positive conversations can be great, but I believe developing listening skills is far more important.

Most people don't really listen. True listening is when you listen without forming any thought as to what your response will be. Many people appear to listen but the whole time they are just waiting for their turn to talk. True listening takes practice, but it can be developed over time.

Becoming a true listener can help you connect with humanity more as well because now you are actually listening to what the other person is saying. Usually people judge the other person (and/or what the other person is saying) almost immediately and then start forming their reply. So by truly listening you will start to have less judgments.

I didn't become a better listener until about three years ago. I am much better now than I was before, but of course I can still develop my listening skills further.

This all ties in with the idea of changing yourself before trying to change the world. If you want people to be more kind, first you must be more kind. If you want people to do more, first you must do more. If you want peace, first you must start bringing peace to where you are.

I suggest that this week that you try to truly listen to someone.

Have a great Chuseok.




Sunday, September 4, 2011

Driving Out Hate

News
No new updates for this week.

Quote
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."
— Martin Luther King Jr.

My Thoughts
Many people have causes or positions that they love to defend. Republican, Democrat, Global Warming, Anti-War, etc... The list goes on and on. The very act of choosing and saying this way is right can oftentimes cut you off from even being able to consider another position or option. This can be dangerous because you start judging the other side as wrong and also anyone that believes in the other side as wrong. If the other side is wrong then you may start disliking them, and if you continue down that path you can actually start to hate them.

I'll share a story that may help illustrate this point. As many of you are aware I grew up in Philadelphia. I managed to stay out of gangs, but had numerous fights with them when I was in high school and sometimes after that. My younger brother on the other hand got involved in gangs early on and eventually started selling drugs, stealing, etc.. This lead him to prison.

Gangs. Obviously the people that belong to a particular gang think that their way is the right way. All the other gangs are wrong and in many cases the other gang should be eliminated or forced out. My younger brother would hate someone just because they were from a rival gang. He didn't know the person at all but he still hated them. Occasionally the gang he was involved with would fight other gangs, sometimes they would be victorious (although in reality there is no real winner) and other times members of his gang would be hospitalized or killed.

Now it may be easy for you to sit here and judge this. It's easy to sit here and say that's stupid or I would never do that. Or they are all scum and should end up in prison or dead. These are all things that I've heard at one time or another. The problem with that line of thinking is that it doesn't solve anything. Hating them will only create more hate. Instead trying to look at them with compassion can help you to understand them better.

How can you look at them with compassion?

People always choose what they assume to be the best option at the time. Unfortunately due to perception most people can't really see what the best option is at the time. Realizing this can help all of us to stop judging others.

Why should you look at them with compassion?

Well besides all of the most important spiritual reasons, looking at them with compassion can allow you to create loving solutions. Solutions that can actually help to change the situation for the better.

I challenge you this week to consider someone's viewpoint that differs from your own.

Have a beautiful week.