Kindness

News
No new updates for this week.

Quote
"If you find yourself in a confrontation of any kind with anyone, be it a family member or a stranger, before reacting ask yourself, "Is what I am about to say motivated by my need to be right, or my desire to be kind?" Then pick a response that stems from kindness, regardless of how your ego objects."
-Wayne Dyer

My Thoughts
I believe this is such great advice, although it can be quite challenging to practice it in our daily lives. I think to really change the world we need to become more loving. And not just loving when it's convenient, but loving at all times. I realize this is no easy task but I think it can help make life incredibly fulfilling.

From what I have experienced and observed, the ego tends to push us away from love. It desires to be right, it seeks to get what it wants. The ego is essentially me and my, whereas love is us and our. If we start to feed the ego we start to notice narcissistic tendencies (ex: I did this; look at me, I am so...). If we continue feeding it, then it can lead to anger and of course if we continue going down that path it can eventually lead to extremes such as murder, rape, etc...

I think to counteract the ego we need to choose love above all else. I think the first step is loving yourself. Try not to constantly beat yourself up for past mistakes or regrets. Then try starting off small. I recommend trying it with someone you love. Perhaps when the person you love does something that irritates you, instead of judging them (whether you say it or not), try and understand them. Try to look at it from their point of view. If you make a continuous effort to do this, you will find yourself judging those you love less and less. Then you can make an effort to do this to strangers. Another technique with strangers is to imagine the person that you are judging as one of your family members (one that you love of course :)

This can also help in communicating better to those that you love. I am sure you may have experienced the end of a relationship because you didn't want to take the initiative to communicate after an argument because you were "right" and/or you didn't want to say sorry because you didn't do anything "wrong". Once you start trying to look at the situation from that person's point of view you will be more likely to start communicating with them first.

I encourage all of us this week to heed Wayne Dyer's advice.

Have a beautiful week.

Giving Coins

Hello Everyone,

I hope your week is off to a great start.

News
There are still a few seats available for this Saturday's "Mastermind Group Coaching Course".

If you are interested in attending please register with me to make sure your space is reserved.

You can register by emailing me: bob@oneamazinglife.com

Instead of sharing a quote and my thoughts this week, I've decided to share a story.

Story
“Over the course of one year, give a coin to each person who offends or upsets you,” instructed the abbot of a young man who wanted people to follow a spiritual path.
For the next twelve months, the boy gave a coin to each person who offended or upset him, as he was instructed. At the end of the year, he returned to the abbot to find out what the next steps were.
“Go into town and buy food for me,” the abbot responded.
Once the boy left, the abbot changed his clothes, disguised himself as a beggar and went to the gate. When the boy approached, he began to insult him.
“Good!” said the boy, “for a whole year I had to pay the people who upset or offended me, and now I can be offended for free, without spending anything!”
Hearing this, the abbot removed his disguise.
“He who does not take insults seriously, is on the path to wisdom.”

Have an outstanding week.

Judgements

Hello Everyone,

I hope that you had an amazing weekend.

News
I received an email early last week asking me if I could help out a worthy cause. I checked it out and decided that I would.

Here is the info:
The Westfall Foundation has launched a new campaign titled “Commit To Your
Health”. With the release of a series of fitness and exercise DVDs,
the campaign is geared towards raising awareness for those who suffer
from Friedreich’s Ataxia, which is a rare inherited disease

Kerry Westfall himself performs all exercises while in his
wheelchair; however he made it a solid point to produce a DVD where
people who are not in need of a wheelchair may also perform all
exercises. The video absolutely amazing and the foundation sells them
in order to raise funds to cure Friedreich’s Ataxia.

Kerry Westfall was diagnosed at a young age with the debilitating
disease called Friedreich’s Ataxia. Friedreich's Ataxia (also
called FA or FRDA) is a rare inherited disease that causes nervous
system damage and movement problems. Symptoms of FA include pain,
shortness of breath, and heart palpitations. Though impaired by this
disease and wheelchair bound, having FA did not discourage Kerry from
trying to lead a normal life.

For more information on the “Commit to your health” campaign, to
obtain a DVD or donate to the Westfall Foundation cause please visit:
http://cts.vresp.com/c/?BeautifulPlanningMar/46dd0f3791/057e9e387f/a565894953
You can also view a 5 minute trailer for the DVD at the link above.

About the Westfall Foundation
The Westfall Foundation is a national 501(C)(3) tax-deductible
charity. The Westfall Foundation is dedicated to the pursuit of
funding medical research leading to treatments, cures and an overall
better understanding of neuromuscular and Central Nervous System
(CNS) diseases, such as Friedreich’s Ataxia, Multiple Scleroses and
Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s diseases. The Westfall Foundation`s
mission is to award grants which contribute to finding cures and
effective treatments for the mentioned diseases. The Westfall
Foundation understands the power of people, thus our second objective
is to fund other 501(C)(3) organizations who are actively sponsoring
research initiatives to find effective treatments for diseases
classified as neuromuscular and neurodegenerative, as well as CNS
diseases, such as Alzheimer`s and Parkinson’s disease.

Why am I sharing this?
Well a very close friend of my family has muscular dystrophy and when I was growing up I saw first hand at what it did to him. Over the last 25 years he went from being able to walk to not being able to do anything on his own. Doctors say that he will die soon.

If you purchase the DVD, your money will go to charity. You can also donate your time and/or money to the Westfall Foundation.

Quote
"Judgements prevent us from seeing the good that lies beyond appearances."
-Wayne Dyer

My Thoughts
It is so easy sometimes for us to judge others. We look at people and determine good/bad, right/wrong, beautiful/ugly, smart/stupid, etc... Oftentimes we do this to people that we've never met. We hear a rumor or a news story and judge them.

Recently, this has happened with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Tiger Woods. I heard someone say recently how idiotic they both are and that they would never do that. Really? I asked this individual if he had ever been put in a similar situation as them and he said no. I wondered how would he respond if placed in even a remotely similar situation. Would he hold the moral high ground? Or would he give in to temptation?
Now don't get me wrong I am not condoning their actions, but there is always more to the story. We will never know 100% what lead them to their current situation.

Of course I haven't mentioned about not placing people on pedestals. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone has their own challenges to face. But that is for another week.

I'd like to share a story with you.

My younger brother was shot in the chest last week. He managed to survive and somehow wasn't seriously injured. I don't have all the details yet, but apparently it was a set up to steal his drugs and cash. One guy approached him to buy drugs and he went somewhere with him. As the transaction took place the guy attempted to fight with my brother and another guy stepped out from behind a wall and shot my brother in the chest.

This happened minutes away from where we grew up in Philadelphia. Besides getting shot in the chest the other disappointing news is that evidently my brother is back to dealing again. He will turn 27 this year and if he lives to be 30 I would be amazed. Remember 2 months ago he had his faced smashed in with a club. Assuming he doesn't get killed first, I have a feeling he will end up in prison again soon.

Now it would be very easy for me to judge him. Call him a moron and point out reasons why he is a moron. This is the approach the rest of my family has taken. This approach hasn't worked in the past and it won't work now.
What he needs is:
1. A program that can show him with real world examples that their is a different way out and tools which will enable him to have lasting change.
2. A strong support group
3. He needs to relocate.

When he got out of prison in 2009, I called him everyday and provided him some basic coaching plus I was the real world example for him. However, I couldn't provide the other two factors that he would need to have a serious shot at getting better.

He hit bottom in 2009, but now that shock has worn off and he is back to his old ways so before a program like I mentioned above would be effective he would need to hit bottom again. For most people getting shot in the chest would do that, but unfortunately for him I don't think it has.

The point of this is that somewhere inside of him he still has goodness left. By judging him we are not able to come up with potential ways to benefit him and society. Judging others clouds our thinking and pushes us apart.

I encourage all of you to try and understand others instead of judging them. In doing this you will also learn a great deal about yourself.

Have an incredible week.

Bob

Judgement

Quote
"If you would convince a man that he does wrong, do right. But do not care to convince him. Men will believe what they see. Let them see."
-Henry David Thoreau

My Thoughts
Occasionally you may find yourself pointing your finger in judgment of other people. Ultimately this ends up being a large waste of energy. In order for you to grow you have to be willing to rise up above a situation.
It goes back to the idea that you can't stop violence with violence.

How can you use this idea?

Let's suppose for a minute that you have a goal that you would like to achieve. You find that many people around you are telling you that you can't do it, it's impossible, just give up, etc... Instead of trying to convince them that you are right, which usually leads to arguments, show them by taking action on that goal.
By achieving the goal you will have risen above the situation instead of getting tied up in the negativity.

Until next time....

Awareness and Judgements

Quote (paraphrased)
"All people seek only what they perceive as the good, however due to the limitations of perception people can not tell what is always the best option".
-Socrates

My Thoughts
This quote is evidenced by the statement "Well, it seemed like a great idea at the time.".

Most people believe that their view of the world is the right one. It can be frightening to accept the fact that perhaps opening your mind to new possibilities may be a good idea. I think all of us at one time or another have pushed our world view, or perception, onto others. This frequently shows up in relationships and leads to many disagreements and arguments.

Another area this can be easily seen is amongst those people that have lived as foreigners in a country.
I am sure many of you have heard, or said, things like:
I don't understand why -insert their nationality here- do things this way.
Obviously, in -insert your country here- the way we do it is much, much better.
If they would do it our way, everything would work better.
But would it?

I know this may be very hard to believe, but everyone is always trying to do their best.
For example: One generation works 80 hours a week to provide for their family.
They struggle and struggle to get by.
The next generation looks at them and thinks: I don't understand, if they would have done this or that they could have cut their hours, made more money, and enjoyed life more.
Both of these generations are simply acting out of their level of awareness.

You see we all have our own challenges, situations, obstacles, and regrets to deal with and overcome in life. Life is about learning, or not learning, from these experiences.
It is not up to us to sit around and judge everyone.

By letting go of judgments, you can seriously enhance your own personal awareness.
How can you start to let go of these judgments?
You can start by realizing that it is absolutely impossible for you to know what is going on in other people's minds all of the time.
By accepting this as true, you will start to break up the cycle of "I am right" and "they are wrong".
You can also start asking yourself perception based questions like:
"What is another way of looking at this?"
"What if I looked at this from a different point of view?"
If you practice this daily, over time it will become a habit.
You will then find it comfortable simply not knowing why someone would do something that you perceive as "wrong" or "bad".
Remember, maybe that "bad" choice was necessary for their growth.

Until next time...