Loyalty

Hello Everyone,

I hope that you had a great week!

News
No new updates for this week.

Instead of sharing a quote and my thoughts this week, I wanted to share something I read recently on Paulo Coelho's blog.

Loyalty
By Paulo Coelho

Loyalty can be compared to a shop selling exquisite porcelain vases, a shop to which Love has given us the key.
Each of those vases is beautiful because it is different, as is every person, every drop of rain, every rock sleeping on the mountainside.

Sometimes, due to age or some unsuspected defect, a shelf collapses and falls. And the shop-owner says to himself:
‘I invested years of my time and my love on this collection, but the vases have betrayed me and broken.’
The man sells his shop and leaves. He becomes a solitary, embittered individual, believing that he will never trust anyone again.

It’s true that some vases do break – a promise of loyalty broken. In that case, it’s best to sweep up the pieces and throw them away, because what was broken will never be the same again.

But sometimes the reasons why a shelf collapses and falls go beyond mere human intentions: it could be an earthquake, an enemy invasion, clumsiness on the part of someone who enters the shop without looking where he is going.

Men and women blame each other for the disaster. They say: ‘Someone should have foreseen what was going to happen.’ Or: ‘If I had been in charge, these problems could have been avoided.’
Nothing could be further from the truth. We are all prisoners of the sands of time, and we have no control over them.

Time passes and the shelf that fell gets mended.

Other vases fighting for their place in the world are put there. The new shop-owner, who understands that nothing lasts, smiles and says to himself: ‘That tragedy opened up an opportunity for me and I will try to make the most of it. I will discover works of art I never even knew existed.’


Resolutions

News
No new updates for this week.

Quote
"Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever."
-Mark Twain

My Thoughts
We are now almost two weeks into the new year. Are you making progress on your resolutions? Most people will give up on their resolutions within the first week or two of the new year. Almost all will give up by the end of the month.

Why does this happen?

I had the opportunity to be on the radio on New Year's day for an interview. The main topic was, of course, about resolutions. The host asked me my thoughts on resolutions and my response was quite simple. Don't set them. That's right, stop setting resolutions.

Why?

The main reason is that you are establishing a pattern of failure. You are sending a signal to your subconscious mind which states that "I don't follow through on what I say I will do.". This is not a good pattern to develop because it can spread to other areas of your life and as you get older you may find that you don't finish things that you say you will or it may take you much longer to accomplish things.

I think the other main reason for giving up on resolutions is people usually put down things that they don't feel like doing.
Think about it for a minute: Lose weight, Quit smoking/drinking, Learn something, etc...

None of them sound exciting and they are vague (not to mention that the first two are negatively worded).

So what's my recommendation?

Set one to three things that you really want to accomplish this year. These things should get you excited and scared at the same time. What is it that you would really like to do this year? Think big.

Let's look at losing weight. You set a resolution to lose weight. First problem is the word lose, second problem is it's vague, and the third problem is it's not very exciting.

How could you change it?

Be specific, make it positive, and think big. It also helps to write it down in the present tense. Ex: I am so happy and grateful now that I am at (enter ideal weight here). Put a date on it and start taking action. For the exciting part, that's up to you but you could find images of the type of body you'd like to have and use those images to help you visualize.

You may be wondering what my goal is for this year....or maybe you're not but I'll tell you anyway :)

I (and two other business partners) will be starting a gym. Not just any gym, but a gym that will completely change the fitness industry in Korea.
This is something that I initially started in 2008 but due to many factors I was not able to fully make it happen until now. 

I encourage all of you to look at what you'd like to accomplish this year.

I wish you all the best.

Failing

News
No new updates for this week.

Quote
 “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
-Michael Jordan

My Thoughts
As we get older people tend to think that they shouldn't fail. Failure is looked at as bad. Even taking risks is discouraged. I am not going to get into the reasons why I think this is with this week's message. Perhaps I'll do that at another time.

This week, I just want to remind everyone that failure is a part of life. No one succeeds 100% of the time. No one.

In my own life, I've failed numerous times. In the last few years with my own business I nearly went bankrupt, actually if it wasn't for the support of some loving friends I would have gone bankrupt. I've failed before in other areas as well (weight lifting goals, education goals, etc...).

The point though is that I kept trying. I picked myself up and kept going.

How do I deal with setbacks and failure?

The first thing to look at is do you have a goal? Were you working towards some specific target? If so, then how much progress have you made?

If you've made some progress, if you are even slightly closer to your goal then you've made progress. Congrats. Greatness doesn't happen overnight.

If you've made absolutely no progress towards your goal, then it may be time to reevaluate your goal. What caused you to not make progress? What was your reason for setting the goal in the first place?

These are just some questions to look at.

Finally be careful with wording. You don't actually fail at something until you completely stop pursuing it. Everything else is really just a setback. Do not beat yourself up too much for "failing", it's all part of the learning process.

As 2012 draws to a close, I encourage you to look over the last year. What have you achieved? What would you like to have achieved? What will you do next year?

Books

Hello Everyone,

I hope that you had a great week.

News
No new updates for this week.

Instead of sharing a quote and my thoughts this week, I wanted to share this story with you.

Story
Once there was a well known philosopher and scholar who devoted himself to the study of Zen for many years. On the day that he finally attained enlightenment, he took all of his books out into the yard, and burned them all.

I encourage you to reflect on the meaning of that story.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Bob

I Have Learned...

News
No new updates for this week.

Instead of sharing a quote and my thoughts, I found this and wanted to share it with you.

I Have Learned
by Omer B. Washington

I’ve learned-
that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

I’ve learned-
that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back.

I’ve learned-
that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I’ve learned-
that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I’ve learned-
that it’s not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.

I’ve learned-
that you should never ruin an apology with an excuse.

I’ve learned-
that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better know something.

I’ve learned-
that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do.

I’ve learned-
that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I’ve learned-
that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I’ve learned-
that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I’ve learned-
that you can keep going long after you can’t.

I’ve learned-
that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I’ve learned-
that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I’ve learned-
that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I’ve learned-
that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I’ve learned-
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I’ve learned-
that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I’ve learned-
that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I’ve learned-
that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.

I’ve learned-
that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I’ve learned-
that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

I’ve learned-
that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

I’ve learned-
that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.

I’ve learned-
that your family won’t always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren’t related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren’t biological.

I’ve learned-
that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you are to learn to forgive yourself.

I’ve learned-
that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

I’ve learned-
that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I’ve learned-
that a rich person is not the one who has the most, but is one who needs the least.

I’ve learned-
that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.

I’ve learned-
that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I’ve learned-
that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I’ve learned-
that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I’ve learned-
that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.

I’ve learned-
that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I’ve learned-
that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I’ve learned-
that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

I’ve learned-
that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings, and standing up for what you believe.

I’ve learned-
that people will forget what you said, and people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

Cliffhanger

News
No new updates for this week.

Instead of sharing a quote and my thoughts this week, I wanted to share this story I found with you:

Story

One day while walking through the wilderness a man stumbled upon a vicious tiger. He ran but soon came to the edge of a high cliff. Desperate to save himself, he climbed down a vine and dangled over the fatal precipice.

As he hung there, two mice appeared from a hole in the cliff and began gnawing on the vine.

Suddenly, he noticed on the vine a plump wild strawberry. He plucked it and popped it in his mouth. It was incredibly delicious!

I encourage you to spend some time pondering it's meaning.

Entertaining Thoughts

News
No new updates for this week.

Quote
”It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.”
- Aristotle

My Thoughts
I believe this quote contains a lot of wisdom and yet it can be so hard to put into practice. The vast majority of us think what we are doing is correct so it can be very difficult to even consider other options. Not to mention we have all these belief systems, conditioning, emotions, etc... that are deep rooted, so often times are minds are made up without really thinking.

If you spend time examining other peoples' points of view, considering different opinions, then it can allow you to view the world through a more objective lens. Why does that matter? Well it can help you relate to the world better and if you can relate to the world better then gradually you can release judgments. Ultimately this can bring a better quality of life.

I'll share a short story with you which I hope better illustrates my point.

I've lived in Korea for a total of 12 years. During this time I've had to look at my beliefs numerous times. As many of you know I am from the US. Every country has it's own version of history and also what it believes to be the best way... aka the right way.
When I first came to Korea there were many things that confused me and I thought it would be better if they did something in a different way.

What I was doing is taking all of my preconceived notions about what was right or what was wrong, or a good way of doing something vs. a bad way, and placing it on a different culture. Of course that different culture also has their own beliefs.

I went through the typical psychological stages that almost all foreigners living in a country go through. First I was excited  by everything. Then I started to find things I didn't like. Next I started judging people and thinking my ways were better (ex: In the US we do it this way, it would be so much better if Korea did....). After some time I started questioning my own belief systems and eventually I ended up loving Korea. I think it also helps to study the countries history from multiple sources and try and learn the language.

Does that mean I think everything is perfect? No it doesn't. But everything isn't perfect were I am from either.

I've learned to accept that everyone (including countries as a whole) are doing what's best for them, or at least what they perceive to be best. We all have to go through our own growing pains.
To come to this realization I had to start by questioning my own belief systems.

I encourage you this week to try and entertain a different point of view.