Hello Everyone,
Happy Liberation Day Korea!
I hope that your week is going well.
News
No new updates for this week.
Instead of sharing a quote and my thoughts this week, I wanted to share a poem with you written by a very famous Korean poet:
SELF PORTRAIT
by Yun, Dong-ju
Coming round the mountain, I go up alone to
the solitary well at the edge of the rice field
and peer in, quietly.
Inside the well, the moon is bright, the clouds flow by,
the sky spreads out, and a light blue wind blows;
autumn is there.
And a man is there.
I turn away because I hate the man, somehow.
Pondering over him as I set out to leave, I feel sorry for him
and go back and look in: he is still there.
Again I turn away hating the fellow.
I think of him, again setting out, and begin to miss him.
Inside the well, the moon is bright, the clouds flow by,
the sky spreads out, a light blue wind blows;
autumn is there, and a man, like a memory.
Have an incredible week!
Bob
Showing posts with label anger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anger. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Revenge
News
No new updates for this week.
Quote
"Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves."
-Confucius
My Thoughts
Revenge, hatred, anger, jealousy, etc... These emotions will ultimately cause us more harm than the person they are directed at. From what I have experienced these emotions tend to rise up within us when our ego is hurt. I would say it's natural to experience these these feelings on occasion. I would not recommend that you try to bury them or hide them, instead acknowledge that they exist. The challenge lies in not adding fuel to the fire.
I'd like to share a story about revenge and it's dangers with you.
As many of you know, I grew up in Philadelphia. Gang violence was very common where I lived.
I'd like to take you back to when I was 16 years old. I had been out skateboarding with a few friends but it was starting to get late so we all headed our separate ways. My friend's younger brother, Brian, was out with us, so we walked home together. He was around 12 years old at the time.
We were walking down this dark street on a humid summer night. There were no other people on the street except for me and Brian. The area we were walking through was a known gang area so people tended to stay off the streets after dark, but we had no choice but to go home this way.
Then, up in the distance, I could see two guys coming towards us on the opposite side of the street. The hair on the back of my neck stood up. I could sense something wasn't right, but I didn't know what to do. Brian and I continued walking.
As the two strangers got closer my heart rate increased. I figured it was just paranoia.
Now they were directly across the street from us. I couldn't tell for sure but they appeared to be older. One of them shouted, "Hey, do you have a dollar we can borrow?". It was at this point that I realized something bad was about to happen. I replied "No, I don't."
They continued walking away from us, but I knew they weren't finished. It was then that I heard footsteps approaching quickly from behind us. I turned to Brian and told him to run home, and I'll try to distract them. Brian told me he wasn't going anywhere. Very brave, but very foolish.
In a matter of seconds they were on us. The first guy swung at me with a baseball bat and hit my backpack. Luckily for us he lost his grip on the bat and it went flying off into the darkness.
I then turned around and was punched in the face. Now I got my first look at these two close up. I would guess they were 18-20 years old, and they were bigger than the Brian and I.
I was defending some punches but Brian wasn't doing so well. The one guy must have punched him in the face 20-30 times. I still clearly remember the sound of those punches. Brian was on his knees and the guy was holding him up by his hair and just continued beating his face in. Finally he let Brian go, and Brian just fell forward on his face. Honestly, I wasn't sure he was still alive.
What this meant for me, was now I had two attackers to deal with and I had to act quickly because I was quite sure if Brian was still alive he would be in serious need of medical attention.
So the guy that was pummeling Brian came up behind me. I now had one guy in front and one behind, definitely not the best situation for handling multiple attackers. At that moment, I grabbed my skateboard and swung it as hard as I could at the guy behind me. I missed his jaw by mere centimeters. But he fell backwards to the ground in surprise. I lunged forward with the board over my head, with every intention of hitting him as hard as possible over the head.
It was at this point that I felt a poke at my side. I looked down and there was a knife. The other guy was holding a knife to me, just below my ribcage.
He said to me "Stop fucking around, and give us your wallet or I will kill you.". I told him to take it easy and gave him my wallet. The other guy got up off the ground and walked over to me. I had been in fights before this, I had been robbed before this, but this was the first time that I had a knife pulled on me. I was quite scared.
They proceeded to talk about what to do with me. They said they should make an example out of me by killing me. They joked about it, how easy it would be to kill me right there. I thought my heart was going to pound right out of my chest. It seemed like time stood still.
Eventually, the one guy punched me in the face and off they went into the night laughing.
Immediately, I went over to Brian. He was still face down but breathing. His face was completely covered in blood. He ended up going to the hospital and had a broken nose, fractured cheekbones, and some other injures that I can't recall.
To make this long story short, those two guys were part of a team of three (or more) that would go around robbing people. The other guy would be wait in a car nearby. Evidently in the car he had other weapons just in case.
Eventually, a few friends of mine went and beat those guys up very badly. This, along with some other events, lead to a massive fight in which numerous people were hospitalized, and some went to jail.
What's the point of this whole story?
1. Revenge will just lead to more violence. It's a cycle and the more revenge you take the more it will continue. I believe the solution is love, but more on that in a future message.
2. Trust your intuition. When I sensed something was wrong maybe I could have done something about it. Since that experience I have learned to listen to my intuition and it has continually lead me down the right path. This does not mean that the right path has been free of challenges and setbacks, but it has continually allowed me to grow.
I encourage you to look into your heart this week and see which negative emotions you are harboring. Do your best to release those feelings by asking yourself what is the loving thing to do.
Have an outstanding week.
No new updates for this week.
Quote
"Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves."
-Confucius
My Thoughts
Revenge, hatred, anger, jealousy, etc... These emotions will ultimately cause us more harm than the person they are directed at. From what I have experienced these emotions tend to rise up within us when our ego is hurt. I would say it's natural to experience these these feelings on occasion. I would not recommend that you try to bury them or hide them, instead acknowledge that they exist. The challenge lies in not adding fuel to the fire.
I'd like to share a story about revenge and it's dangers with you.
As many of you know, I grew up in Philadelphia. Gang violence was very common where I lived.
I'd like to take you back to when I was 16 years old. I had been out skateboarding with a few friends but it was starting to get late so we all headed our separate ways. My friend's younger brother, Brian, was out with us, so we walked home together. He was around 12 years old at the time.
We were walking down this dark street on a humid summer night. There were no other people on the street except for me and Brian. The area we were walking through was a known gang area so people tended to stay off the streets after dark, but we had no choice but to go home this way.
Then, up in the distance, I could see two guys coming towards us on the opposite side of the street. The hair on the back of my neck stood up. I could sense something wasn't right, but I didn't know what to do. Brian and I continued walking.
As the two strangers got closer my heart rate increased. I figured it was just paranoia.
Now they were directly across the street from us. I couldn't tell for sure but they appeared to be older. One of them shouted, "Hey, do you have a dollar we can borrow?". It was at this point that I realized something bad was about to happen. I replied "No, I don't."
They continued walking away from us, but I knew they weren't finished. It was then that I heard footsteps approaching quickly from behind us. I turned to Brian and told him to run home, and I'll try to distract them. Brian told me he wasn't going anywhere. Very brave, but very foolish.
In a matter of seconds they were on us. The first guy swung at me with a baseball bat and hit my backpack. Luckily for us he lost his grip on the bat and it went flying off into the darkness.
I then turned around and was punched in the face. Now I got my first look at these two close up. I would guess they were 18-20 years old, and they were bigger than the Brian and I.
I was defending some punches but Brian wasn't doing so well. The one guy must have punched him in the face 20-30 times. I still clearly remember the sound of those punches. Brian was on his knees and the guy was holding him up by his hair and just continued beating his face in. Finally he let Brian go, and Brian just fell forward on his face. Honestly, I wasn't sure he was still alive.
What this meant for me, was now I had two attackers to deal with and I had to act quickly because I was quite sure if Brian was still alive he would be in serious need of medical attention.
So the guy that was pummeling Brian came up behind me. I now had one guy in front and one behind, definitely not the best situation for handling multiple attackers. At that moment, I grabbed my skateboard and swung it as hard as I could at the guy behind me. I missed his jaw by mere centimeters. But he fell backwards to the ground in surprise. I lunged forward with the board over my head, with every intention of hitting him as hard as possible over the head.
It was at this point that I felt a poke at my side. I looked down and there was a knife. The other guy was holding a knife to me, just below my ribcage.
He said to me "Stop fucking around, and give us your wallet or I will kill you.". I told him to take it easy and gave him my wallet. The other guy got up off the ground and walked over to me. I had been in fights before this, I had been robbed before this, but this was the first time that I had a knife pulled on me. I was quite scared.
They proceeded to talk about what to do with me. They said they should make an example out of me by killing me. They joked about it, how easy it would be to kill me right there. I thought my heart was going to pound right out of my chest. It seemed like time stood still.
Eventually, the one guy punched me in the face and off they went into the night laughing.
Immediately, I went over to Brian. He was still face down but breathing. His face was completely covered in blood. He ended up going to the hospital and had a broken nose, fractured cheekbones, and some other injures that I can't recall.
To make this long story short, those two guys were part of a team of three (or more) that would go around robbing people. The other guy would be wait in a car nearby. Evidently in the car he had other weapons just in case.
Eventually, a few friends of mine went and beat those guys up very badly. This, along with some other events, lead to a massive fight in which numerous people were hospitalized, and some went to jail.
What's the point of this whole story?
1. Revenge will just lead to more violence. It's a cycle and the more revenge you take the more it will continue. I believe the solution is love, but more on that in a future message.
2. Trust your intuition. When I sensed something was wrong maybe I could have done something about it. Since that experience I have learned to listen to my intuition and it has continually lead me down the right path. This does not mean that the right path has been free of challenges and setbacks, but it has continually allowed me to grow.
I encourage you to look into your heart this week and see which negative emotions you are harboring. Do your best to release those feelings by asking yourself what is the loving thing to do.
Have an outstanding week.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
True Nature
News
No new updates for this week.
Instead of sharing a quote and my thoughts this week, I've decided to share this story I found with you.
Story
A Zen student came to Bankei and complained: "Master, I have an ungovernable temper. How can I cure it?"
"You have something very strange," replied Bankei. "Let me see what you have."
"Just now I cannot show it to you" replied the other.
"When can you show it to me?" asked Bankei
"It arises unexpectedly," replied the student.
"Then," concluded Bankei, "it must not be your own true nature. If it were, you could show it to me any time. When you were born, you did not have it, and your parents did not give it to you. Think that over."
No new updates for this week.
Instead of sharing a quote and my thoughts this week, I've decided to share this story I found with you.
Story
A Zen student came to Bankei and complained: "Master, I have an ungovernable temper. How can I cure it?"
"You have something very strange," replied Bankei. "Let me see what you have."
"Just now I cannot show it to you" replied the other.
"When can you show it to me?" asked Bankei
"It arises unexpectedly," replied the student.
"Then," concluded Bankei, "it must not be your own true nature. If it were, you could show it to me any time. When you were born, you did not have it, and your parents did not give it to you. Think that over."
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Why Do We Shout When Angry?
News
I will be conducting a two-hour workshop around the end of this month. More details will follow soon.
Instead of sharing a quote and my thoughts this week, I wanted to share a story I found with you:
Story
A Hindu saint who was visiting river Ganges to take bath found a group of family members on the banks, shouting in anger at each other. He turned to his disciples smiled and asked.
'Why do people shout in anger shout at each other?'
Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout.'
'But, why should you shout when the other person is just next to you? You can as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner.' asked the saint
Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the other disciples.
Finally the saint explained, .
'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other to cover that great distance.
What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is either nonexistent or very small...'
The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.'
He looked at his disciples and said.
'So when you argue do not let your hearts get distant, Do not say words that distance each other more, Or else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.'
Have an outstanding week.
Bob
I will be conducting a two-hour workshop around the end of this month. More details will follow soon.
Instead of sharing a quote and my thoughts this week, I wanted to share a story I found with you:
Story
A Hindu saint who was visiting river Ganges to take bath found a group of family members on the banks, shouting in anger at each other. He turned to his disciples smiled and asked.
'Why do people shout in anger shout at each other?'
Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout.'
'But, why should you shout when the other person is just next to you? You can as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner.' asked the saint
Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the other disciples.
Finally the saint explained, .
'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other to cover that great distance.
What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is either nonexistent or very small...'
The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.'
He looked at his disciples and said.
'So when you argue do not let your hearts get distant, Do not say words that distance each other more, Or else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.'
Have an outstanding week.
Bob
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