Know your Darkness

News
The message below is from a group that gets together and watches documentaries once a month. It sounded interesting so I wanted to share it with all of you.

What: Let's watch a film!
When: Sunday, May 29th, 2011 6:30 PM


Where: Roofers
Itaewon 132-5
Seoul
02-749-2970

Why: This is a very interesting and informative film about where
our food comes from. It'll leave you in awe, with some

answers and even some questions! A fantastic film to watch with
friends. Website of the film- http://www.foodincmovie.com/

Hey guys, Me and two of my friends have started a documentary
screening club in Seoul. We'll be showing one film every month
at Roofers in Itaewon, following a group discussion. These
films are social/political/cultural in nature. They're really
well made, and have won various awards, from Academy award for
best documentary to best directing/writing in famous film
festivals. Come join us for our second film screening of the year, on
Sunday the 29th of May. For more information you can check out
the following site as well-

https://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=206304752724259


Hope to see some of you guys at the screening. :-)

Zenith Bose
010 4996 5939

Quote
"Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people."
-Carl Jung

My Thoughts
Each of us has our own problems to overcome. For some it is addiction to alcohol, drugs, sex, etc... For some it is anger, judgement, guilt, etc.. All of us have something or multiple things that we must deal with as we go through life.

All people are born inherently good. It can be difficult for people to accept this. The problem arises when we do not keep our ego in check. If we do not keep our ego in check then darkness can overtake us. We see egos gone seriously out of control in people that cause mass destruction in the world.

Interestingly those that cheered Osama Bin Laden's death are catering to the egos need for revenge, for a feeling of justice. If they continue feeding that side of their personalty, they will slowly start going down a slope that is hard to come back from. If they really keep feeding their ego, then they will be just as bad as the terrorists they wanted to stop.

The good news is that for most people their is a system of check and balances in place so your ego won't take complete control of you.

I would like to share a story with you. One of the things that I had to overcome was anger. The thing was I didn't recognize it as anger, I saw it more as being realistic. I'll tell you what I mean.

As many of you know I grew up in a not so nice area of Philadelphia. I was surrounded by violence. I saw my first murder victim at just 6 years old. Somebody killed the guy up the street and wrapped his body up in toilet tissue and shoved him into the trunk of his car. I was there when the cops opened the trunk. The smell was horrendous.

The thing was I thought all of this was normal. When I left Philadelphia I took my conditioning with me. It was this idea that people are always looking to fight, steal, and possible murder you so you should be on guard for any possible attack because it's better to go down fighting then get shot in the back.

Of course that idea can help you at times when others are naive. But generally speaking it causes more harm than good because you will always be on the lookout for a fight and sure enough you will find one.

In the late 90's when I came to Korea a lot of people stared. It doesn't happen these days (or maybe I don't notice it anymore). I didn't mind so much when it was a person much older than me, but when it was a guy around my own age it made me upset. Why? Well in Philadelphia if someone is staring at you it generally means something bad will happen.

So intellectually I was thinking "Look this is a foreign country, maybe they just want to talk.". However, my conditioning told me "Nope, they don't like something about you and they are a threat.". By the way, your conditioning which is in your subconscious mind will win out in a battle with your conscious or intellectual mind.

Many years ago I was standing in line at an ATM with a fair amount of drunk people. There were two guys around my age standing behind me that were going on about how stupid Americans are. Incidentally, I didn't care about the fact that were making fun of Americans, having lived outside of the US for so long I've lost a strong sense of national pride. However, I thought maybe they should be careful because other Americans may not be so nice. So I turned around a politely mentioned that they may want to be more careful about how loud they are complaining about Americans (and foreigners in general). This whole thing happened in Korean.

After I said that I turned around and waited in line. Then they started saying things like "This stupid American can speak Korean", "I wonder if he understands............".
Basically calling me every not nice thing under the sun. Now of course the easiest thing would have been for me to step out of the line and walk away. But I didn't do that.

So as I get to the front of the line I stared getting money and the guys behind me step forward and grab my hand....with the money I just got in it. Now conditioning told me, they were trying to steal my money. Were they? Probably not.

So I pulled my hand away and put my money away, while they were yelling at me and grabbing me. Suddenly some guy comes up and breaks everything up. I realized this guy is right I should walk away, not to mention fighting two people at once is never a good idea.

I started walking away when one of the guys that was behind me runs up and punches me in the back (he should have punched me in the head). Now, my conditioning was back in control. I'll spare you the details but he was not looking so good when I left. His friend tried hitting me a few times, but I threw him on the ground (not too hard, just enough to make him think twice).

The whole point of this story is that I could have walked away from the very beginning. It was not my job to worry about if they offended someone else and got into a fight.

A similar situation happened when I saw a guy hitting a woman. Now you may say well in that case you did the right thing. Perhaps, but I didn't fully know the story and I didn't need to use the amount of force that I did to stop the situation. There was probably a better way of handling the situation.

Eventually I was able to overcome this anger with a change in perception.

So what is the take away from all of this?

1. Realize that all of us have our own inner demons to overcome. This can help you understand others better.

2. If you are pissed off at someone that bumps into you, or cuts you off driving, or is staring at you, remember, you never know the full story of what is going on. Perhaps they cut you off because they found out that their wife/husband was in an accident and now they are at the hospital. Perhaps the person is staring at you because they want to talk but they don't know how or they are shy/nervous. Ask yourself is there another way of looking at this situation.

There is also a technique of imagining everyone as your mother (or some loved one) and treat them as you would treat her.

3. Meditate. This has really helped me with handling emotions. Start with just five minutes every day. After a few weeks bump it up to 10 minutes every day. After another few weeks raise it to 20 minutes every day.

Have an outstanding week.