News
No new updates for this week.
Quote
"Clear mind is like the full moon in the sky. Sometimes clouds come and cover it, but the moon is always behind them. Clouds go away, then the moon shines brightly. So don't worry about clear mind: it is always there. When thinking comes, behind it is clear mind. When thinking goes, there is only clear mind. Thinking comes and goes, comes and goes, You must not be attached to the coming or the going."
-Seung Sahn
My Thoughts
An event happens and instead of observing the event as something that just is, we assign meaning to it. If the event is something we perceive as beneficial to us then the event is "good". If the event is not beneficial to us, we label the event as "bad". So we assign these meanings to events and then the meanings we assign stir up all sorts of thoughts and emotions.
Over the last few years, I have learned not to attach too much meaning to events. Of course I am far from perfect, I still can get caught up labeling things that people do or say as good or bad. However, I have made a lot of progress.
I was an intelligence analyst for eleven years, so I was very used to asking why and then doing massive amounts of research into a subject. This was helpful to a point and allowed me to learn many things, but as far as relationships and attachments go asking why can be like a trap especially when you add in assumptions.
I'll give an you an example. Let's suppose that you are in a relationship. One person in the relationship does something that the other person doesn't like. The offended person will often ask why, and then assume they know the answer. This will then create a circle that can fuel anger. Finally when you decide to talk to your partner about whatever it was that offended you, you will most likely come across as accusatory. This will then lead to an argument. Perhaps you make up, or maybe you break up, but whatever assumptions you came up with to the why question will continue to cause arguments in your relationship, or follow you into future relationships.
All of this comes from attaching meaning to an event that just is. None of us can remain truly objective in a situation (unless we are able to observe it as just is), we will drag all of our past conditioning, beliefs, etc... into the situation. Then we declare it as good or bad. Some things we tend to believe in so strongly we aren't even able to consider another's point of view. We will label them as ignorant, stupid, misinformed, etc...
I think part of growth is opening your mind to other people's point of view. I am not saying you immediately start accepting everything that comes your way, but at least make an effort to look at it from different angles.
I encourage you to look at some of your most strongly held views, especially those that judge groups of people, and explore them. Where did those views come from? Do these views benefit humanity as a whole? Once you've identified some of these views, I recommend that you explore the view from other angles.
Have an excellent week.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Revenge
News
No new updates for this week.
Quote
"Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves."
-Confucius
My Thoughts
Revenge, hatred, anger, jealousy, etc... These emotions will ultimately cause us more harm than the person they are directed at. From what I have experienced these emotions tend to rise up within us when our ego is hurt. I would say it's natural to experience these these feelings on occasion. I would not recommend that you try to bury them or hide them, instead acknowledge that they exist. The challenge lies in not adding fuel to the fire.
I'd like to share a story about revenge and it's dangers with you.
As many of you know, I grew up in Philadelphia. Gang violence was very common where I lived.
I'd like to take you back to when I was 16 years old. I had been out skateboarding with a few friends but it was starting to get late so we all headed our separate ways. My friend's younger brother, Brian, was out with us, so we walked home together. He was around 12 years old at the time.
We were walking down this dark street on a humid summer night. There were no other people on the street except for me and Brian. The area we were walking through was a known gang area so people tended to stay off the streets after dark, but we had no choice but to go home this way.
Then, up in the distance, I could see two guys coming towards us on the opposite side of the street. The hair on the back of my neck stood up. I could sense something wasn't right, but I didn't know what to do. Brian and I continued walking.
As the two strangers got closer my heart rate increased. I figured it was just paranoia.
Now they were directly across the street from us. I couldn't tell for sure but they appeared to be older. One of them shouted, "Hey, do you have a dollar we can borrow?". It was at this point that I realized something bad was about to happen. I replied "No, I don't."
They continued walking away from us, but I knew they weren't finished. It was then that I heard footsteps approaching quickly from behind us. I turned to Brian and told him to run home, and I'll try to distract them. Brian told me he wasn't going anywhere. Very brave, but very foolish.
In a matter of seconds they were on us. The first guy swung at me with a baseball bat and hit my backpack. Luckily for us he lost his grip on the bat and it went flying off into the darkness.
I then turned around and was punched in the face. Now I got my first look at these two close up. I would guess they were 18-20 years old, and they were bigger than the Brian and I.
I was defending some punches but Brian wasn't doing so well. The one guy must have punched him in the face 20-30 times. I still clearly remember the sound of those punches. Brian was on his knees and the guy was holding him up by his hair and just continued beating his face in. Finally he let Brian go, and Brian just fell forward on his face. Honestly, I wasn't sure he was still alive.
What this meant for me, was now I had two attackers to deal with and I had to act quickly because I was quite sure if Brian was still alive he would be in serious need of medical attention.
So the guy that was pummeling Brian came up behind me. I now had one guy in front and one behind, definitely not the best situation for handling multiple attackers. At that moment, I grabbed my skateboard and swung it as hard as I could at the guy behind me. I missed his jaw by mere centimeters. But he fell backwards to the ground in surprise. I lunged forward with the board over my head, with every intention of hitting him as hard as possible over the head.
It was at this point that I felt a poke at my side. I looked down and there was a knife. The other guy was holding a knife to me, just below my ribcage.
He said to me "Stop fucking around, and give us your wallet or I will kill you.". I told him to take it easy and gave him my wallet. The other guy got up off the ground and walked over to me. I had been in fights before this, I had been robbed before this, but this was the first time that I had a knife pulled on me. I was quite scared.
They proceeded to talk about what to do with me. They said they should make an example out of me by killing me. They joked about it, how easy it would be to kill me right there. I thought my heart was going to pound right out of my chest. It seemed like time stood still.
Eventually, the one guy punched me in the face and off they went into the night laughing.
Immediately, I went over to Brian. He was still face down but breathing. His face was completely covered in blood. He ended up going to the hospital and had a broken nose, fractured cheekbones, and some other injures that I can't recall.
To make this long story short, those two guys were part of a team of three (or more) that would go around robbing people. The other guy would be wait in a car nearby. Evidently in the car he had other weapons just in case.
Eventually, a few friends of mine went and beat those guys up very badly. This, along with some other events, lead to a massive fight in which numerous people were hospitalized, and some went to jail.
What's the point of this whole story?
1. Revenge will just lead to more violence. It's a cycle and the more revenge you take the more it will continue. I believe the solution is love, but more on that in a future message.
2. Trust your intuition. When I sensed something was wrong maybe I could have done something about it. Since that experience I have learned to listen to my intuition and it has continually lead me down the right path. This does not mean that the right path has been free of challenges and setbacks, but it has continually allowed me to grow.
I encourage you to look into your heart this week and see which negative emotions you are harboring. Do your best to release those feelings by asking yourself what is the loving thing to do.
Have an outstanding week.
No new updates for this week.
Quote
"Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves."
-Confucius
My Thoughts
Revenge, hatred, anger, jealousy, etc... These emotions will ultimately cause us more harm than the person they are directed at. From what I have experienced these emotions tend to rise up within us when our ego is hurt. I would say it's natural to experience these these feelings on occasion. I would not recommend that you try to bury them or hide them, instead acknowledge that they exist. The challenge lies in not adding fuel to the fire.
I'd like to share a story about revenge and it's dangers with you.
As many of you know, I grew up in Philadelphia. Gang violence was very common where I lived.
I'd like to take you back to when I was 16 years old. I had been out skateboarding with a few friends but it was starting to get late so we all headed our separate ways. My friend's younger brother, Brian, was out with us, so we walked home together. He was around 12 years old at the time.
We were walking down this dark street on a humid summer night. There were no other people on the street except for me and Brian. The area we were walking through was a known gang area so people tended to stay off the streets after dark, but we had no choice but to go home this way.
Then, up in the distance, I could see two guys coming towards us on the opposite side of the street. The hair on the back of my neck stood up. I could sense something wasn't right, but I didn't know what to do. Brian and I continued walking.
As the two strangers got closer my heart rate increased. I figured it was just paranoia.
Now they were directly across the street from us. I couldn't tell for sure but they appeared to be older. One of them shouted, "Hey, do you have a dollar we can borrow?". It was at this point that I realized something bad was about to happen. I replied "No, I don't."
They continued walking away from us, but I knew they weren't finished. It was then that I heard footsteps approaching quickly from behind us. I turned to Brian and told him to run home, and I'll try to distract them. Brian told me he wasn't going anywhere. Very brave, but very foolish.
In a matter of seconds they were on us. The first guy swung at me with a baseball bat and hit my backpack. Luckily for us he lost his grip on the bat and it went flying off into the darkness.
I then turned around and was punched in the face. Now I got my first look at these two close up. I would guess they were 18-20 years old, and they were bigger than the Brian and I.
I was defending some punches but Brian wasn't doing so well. The one guy must have punched him in the face 20-30 times. I still clearly remember the sound of those punches. Brian was on his knees and the guy was holding him up by his hair and just continued beating his face in. Finally he let Brian go, and Brian just fell forward on his face. Honestly, I wasn't sure he was still alive.
What this meant for me, was now I had two attackers to deal with and I had to act quickly because I was quite sure if Brian was still alive he would be in serious need of medical attention.
So the guy that was pummeling Brian came up behind me. I now had one guy in front and one behind, definitely not the best situation for handling multiple attackers. At that moment, I grabbed my skateboard and swung it as hard as I could at the guy behind me. I missed his jaw by mere centimeters. But he fell backwards to the ground in surprise. I lunged forward with the board over my head, with every intention of hitting him as hard as possible over the head.
It was at this point that I felt a poke at my side. I looked down and there was a knife. The other guy was holding a knife to me, just below my ribcage.
He said to me "Stop fucking around, and give us your wallet or I will kill you.". I told him to take it easy and gave him my wallet. The other guy got up off the ground and walked over to me. I had been in fights before this, I had been robbed before this, but this was the first time that I had a knife pulled on me. I was quite scared.
They proceeded to talk about what to do with me. They said they should make an example out of me by killing me. They joked about it, how easy it would be to kill me right there. I thought my heart was going to pound right out of my chest. It seemed like time stood still.
Eventually, the one guy punched me in the face and off they went into the night laughing.
Immediately, I went over to Brian. He was still face down but breathing. His face was completely covered in blood. He ended up going to the hospital and had a broken nose, fractured cheekbones, and some other injures that I can't recall.
To make this long story short, those two guys were part of a team of three (or more) that would go around robbing people. The other guy would be wait in a car nearby. Evidently in the car he had other weapons just in case.
Eventually, a few friends of mine went and beat those guys up very badly. This, along with some other events, lead to a massive fight in which numerous people were hospitalized, and some went to jail.
What's the point of this whole story?
1. Revenge will just lead to more violence. It's a cycle and the more revenge you take the more it will continue. I believe the solution is love, but more on that in a future message.
2. Trust your intuition. When I sensed something was wrong maybe I could have done something about it. Since that experience I have learned to listen to my intuition and it has continually lead me down the right path. This does not mean that the right path has been free of challenges and setbacks, but it has continually allowed me to grow.
I encourage you to look into your heart this week and see which negative emotions you are harboring. Do your best to release those feelings by asking yourself what is the loving thing to do.
Have an outstanding week.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Potential
News
No new updates for this week.
Quote
"Give me a stock clerk with a goal and I'll give you a man who will make history. Give me a man with no goals and I'll give you a stock clerk."
~ J.C. Penney
My Thoughts
It doesn't matter where we are at right now, all of us have the potential to do whatever it is we desire.
My own life has lead me down many paths, but I suppose since I was 17 I've always had some sort of focus to what I was doing.
I'll share a story.
People often ask me why I joined the Army. Some people think that I had no other option(s) and/or that I must not be intelligent (I won't even get into who decides what is intelligence).
I went to Catholic school growing up. They had a track system for determining where they think people should go based on your grades. They had four tracks. I was a track 1 & 2 student. This meant that I was supposed to go to college. As a matter of fact around 95% or more of the students in my track went on to college immediately after high school. In case you are wondering most track 3 students were still expected to go to college and track 4 were supposed to go learn a trade.
As for me, I always questioned the idea of jumping immediately into college after high school. Something about it seemed odd to me. But that is the path I was headed down. I took the SAT, did okay, and received a partial academic scholarship to Temple University in Philadelphia. I planned on getting a degree in Criminal Justice.
So what happened? Why didn't I go to Temple?
Well around this time (I was 17), my Dad sat me down and gave me three options for my future living arrangements. He said:
1. Work full time and pay us rent.
2. Go to college and pay us lower rent.
3. Move out.
This was possibly one of the greatest things my Dad ever did for me. Why? Because it taught me to make decisions on my own.
A few weeks later, my Dad suggested to me that I look into joining the military. I laughed at the idea. Me? I was anti-authority, I had a mohawk in the summer, sometimes that mohawk was dyed different colors, etc...Not exactly the image of a soldier.
One day I decided that I would go talk with a recruiter and he set me up to take the Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery (ASVAB) test. This test determines what jobs you can do in the military. I went to the testing center more out of curiosity than anything. I took the test and much to the test administrator's surprise (and mine as well), I finished it faster than everyone else and got the highest score in Philadelphia up until that point in the year. This meant I qualified for any job that the Army offered.
This now caused me to think. Should I join the military and use the skills that I would learn to help me out in the future? Or should I continue down the relatively comfortable path I was on?
I spent a short time thinking about it and decided to join the army. Many teachers and guidance counselors at my school were horrified, they told me that I was making the worst decision of my life. I disagreed.
I joined the Army and spent five years working as an intelligence analyst. Because I scored so high on one section of the ASVAB I spent half the time working in strategic intelligence. The other half was spent in operational and tactical intelligence.
Once I started working in strategic intelligence I knew that after I got out of the Army I wanted to work more in that field. That is what I did. I got out of the military in August 2003 and in November 2003 I was picked up by a defense contractor and spent six years doing intelligence analysis and collection work . I ended up more than quintupling my military salary in less than four years. In 2009 I left defense contracting to pursue a dream and started my business.
Were there ups and downs, or times I wanted to quit the military? Of course...although you can't quit the military :)
The point here is that sometimes, or oftentimes, you have to do what's uncomfortable in order to get where you want to be. If you have a goal you will be able to tolerate those uncomfortable situations better.
If you do not have any goals I encourage you to spend time this week thinking of what you would like your life to look like. Write down your thoughts and then choose a few and put a timeline to them. Then start taking action.
Have an amazing week.
No new updates for this week.
Quote
"Give me a stock clerk with a goal and I'll give you a man who will make history. Give me a man with no goals and I'll give you a stock clerk."
~ J.C. Penney
My Thoughts
It doesn't matter where we are at right now, all of us have the potential to do whatever it is we desire.
My own life has lead me down many paths, but I suppose since I was 17 I've always had some sort of focus to what I was doing.
I'll share a story.
People often ask me why I joined the Army. Some people think that I had no other option(s) and/or that I must not be intelligent (I won't even get into who decides what is intelligence).
I went to Catholic school growing up. They had a track system for determining where they think people should go based on your grades. They had four tracks. I was a track 1 & 2 student. This meant that I was supposed to go to college. As a matter of fact around 95% or more of the students in my track went on to college immediately after high school. In case you are wondering most track 3 students were still expected to go to college and track 4 were supposed to go learn a trade.
As for me, I always questioned the idea of jumping immediately into college after high school. Something about it seemed odd to me. But that is the path I was headed down. I took the SAT, did okay, and received a partial academic scholarship to Temple University in Philadelphia. I planned on getting a degree in Criminal Justice.
So what happened? Why didn't I go to Temple?
Well around this time (I was 17), my Dad sat me down and gave me three options for my future living arrangements. He said:
1. Work full time and pay us rent.
2. Go to college and pay us lower rent.
3. Move out.
This was possibly one of the greatest things my Dad ever did for me. Why? Because it taught me to make decisions on my own.
A few weeks later, my Dad suggested to me that I look into joining the military. I laughed at the idea. Me? I was anti-authority, I had a mohawk in the summer, sometimes that mohawk was dyed different colors, etc...Not exactly the image of a soldier.
One day I decided that I would go talk with a recruiter and he set me up to take the Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery (ASVAB) test. This test determines what jobs you can do in the military. I went to the testing center more out of curiosity than anything. I took the test and much to the test administrator's surprise (and mine as well), I finished it faster than everyone else and got the highest score in Philadelphia up until that point in the year. This meant I qualified for any job that the Army offered.
This now caused me to think. Should I join the military and use the skills that I would learn to help me out in the future? Or should I continue down the relatively comfortable path I was on?
I spent a short time thinking about it and decided to join the army. Many teachers and guidance counselors at my school were horrified, they told me that I was making the worst decision of my life. I disagreed.
I joined the Army and spent five years working as an intelligence analyst. Because I scored so high on one section of the ASVAB I spent half the time working in strategic intelligence. The other half was spent in operational and tactical intelligence.
Once I started working in strategic intelligence I knew that after I got out of the Army I wanted to work more in that field. That is what I did. I got out of the military in August 2003 and in November 2003 I was picked up by a defense contractor and spent six years doing intelligence analysis and collection work . I ended up more than quintupling my military salary in less than four years. In 2009 I left defense contracting to pursue a dream and started my business.
Were there ups and downs, or times I wanted to quit the military? Of course...although you can't quit the military :)
The point here is that sometimes, or oftentimes, you have to do what's uncomfortable in order to get where you want to be. If you have a goal you will be able to tolerate those uncomfortable situations better.
If you do not have any goals I encourage you to spend time this week thinking of what you would like your life to look like. Write down your thoughts and then choose a few and put a timeline to them. Then start taking action.
Have an amazing week.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
The Greatest Gift
News
Another great coach I know, Joshua Davies, is holding a persuasive presentation course July 17th in Seoul.
I personally know that he is an excellent trainer and presenter.
If you are looking at increasing your presentation skills, I highly recommend you attend.
The see the brochure and register, please click the link below:
http://power.laminstitute.net/
Quote
"Make a gift of your life and lift all mankind by being kind, considerate, forgiving, and compassionate at all times, in all places, and under all conditions, with everyone as well as yourself. This is the greatest gift anyone can give."
-David Hawkins
My Thoughts
Instead of sharing my thoughts this week, I encourage you to reflect upon this quote and look at ways to put it into practice.
Have an incredible week.
Another great coach I know, Joshua Davies, is holding a persuasive presentation course July 17th in Seoul.
I personally know that he is an excellent trainer and presenter.
If you are looking at increasing your presentation skills, I highly recommend you attend.
The see the brochure and register, please click the link below:
http://power.laminstitute.net/
Quote
"Make a gift of your life and lift all mankind by being kind, considerate, forgiving, and compassionate at all times, in all places, and under all conditions, with everyone as well as yourself. This is the greatest gift anyone can give."
-David Hawkins
My Thoughts
Instead of sharing my thoughts this week, I encourage you to reflect upon this quote and look at ways to put it into practice.
Have an incredible week.
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