Hello Everyone,
I hope that you had a great week!
News
No new updates for this week.
Instead of sharing a quote and my thoughts this week, I wanted to share something I read recently on Paulo Coelho's blog.
Loyalty
By Paulo Coelho
Loyalty can be compared to a shop selling exquisite porcelain vases, a shop to which Love has given us the key.
Each of those vases is beautiful because it is different, as is every person, every drop of rain, every rock sleeping on the mountainside.
Sometimes, due to age or some unsuspected defect, a shelf collapses and falls. And the shop-owner says to himself:
‘I invested years of my time and my love on this collection, but the vases have betrayed me and broken.’
The man sells his shop and leaves. He becomes a solitary, embittered individual, believing that he will never trust anyone again.
It’s true that some vases do break – a promise of loyalty broken. In that case, it’s best to sweep up the pieces and throw them away, because what was broken will never be the same again.
But sometimes the reasons why a shelf collapses and falls go beyond mere human intentions: it could be an earthquake, an enemy invasion, clumsiness on the part of someone who enters the shop without looking where he is going.
Men and women blame each other for the disaster. They say: ‘Someone should have foreseen what was going to happen.’ Or: ‘If I had been in charge, these problems could have been avoided.’
Nothing could be further from the truth. We are all prisoners of the sands of time, and we have no control over them.
Time passes and the shelf that fell gets mended.
Other vases fighting for their place in the world are put there. The new shop-owner, who understands that nothing lasts, smiles and says to himself: ‘That tragedy opened up an opportunity for me and I will try to make the most of it. I will discover works of art I never even knew existed.’
Showing posts with label judgment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label judgment. Show all posts
Friday, January 25, 2013
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Comparing Yourself to Others
News
No new updates for this week.
Quote
"By your own soul, learn to live
And if men thwart you take no heed.
If men hate you have no care.
Sing your song, dream your dream,
Hope your hope and pray your prayer."
-Pakenham Beatty
My Thoughts
A few weeks ago, I mentioned about asking yourself how bad is your situation when you are feeling down. This is a comparison to someone else who's situation is worse of than you. That method is a great way to start to look at your situation from another perspective.
This week I'd like to talk about two dangers associated with this.
The first is that you use the technique and then start to become vain. Example: How bad is my situation compared to the homeless person I see every day?
Not so bad.
I am better than that homeless person, why is he/she so lazy? etc...
Obviously that is an over simplified example, but it can happen. We need to be cautious of this.
The second one is possibly even more dangerous. This is when we compare the opposite way.
Example: My friends that are the same age as me are all way more successful than me.
I should be more successful.
Why am I not successful?
I feel miserable.
I've noticed a trend over the last two years or so with many coaching clients. Many seem to be doing the second method of comparing quite frequently and the internet seems to have increased this. The main culprit appears to be Facebook.
Facebook is a great way to reconnect with, or stay in contact with, relatives, friends, classmates, etc.. But we must remember that most of what we see on Facebook is the image that that person wants to show off to the world (in many cases).
I know many of you know this already, but it can be difficult to remember when we are feeling down. Generally we are not seeing the real person, it's just what they would like reflected to everyone else.
Then we end up unhappy because we assume that everyone else is happy. The truth is we have no idea what is really going on in their lives. Even the people we are close to, oftentimes we don't really know what's going on in their lives.
I encourage you this week to see how often you make these comparisons. Then start eliminating them. When you find yourself comparing, remind yourself that you don't really know what's going on.
Look at your own life. Ask yourself, "What can I control?", "What can I do", these two questions can lead to some powerful growth when you spend time reflecting on them.
No new updates for this week.
Quote
"By your own soul, learn to live
And if men thwart you take no heed.
If men hate you have no care.
Sing your song, dream your dream,
Hope your hope and pray your prayer."
-Pakenham Beatty
My Thoughts
A few weeks ago, I mentioned about asking yourself how bad is your situation when you are feeling down. This is a comparison to someone else who's situation is worse of than you. That method is a great way to start to look at your situation from another perspective.
This week I'd like to talk about two dangers associated with this.
The first is that you use the technique and then start to become vain. Example: How bad is my situation compared to the homeless person I see every day?
Not so bad.
I am better than that homeless person, why is he/she so lazy? etc...
Obviously that is an over simplified example, but it can happen. We need to be cautious of this.
The second one is possibly even more dangerous. This is when we compare the opposite way.
Example: My friends that are the same age as me are all way more successful than me.
I should be more successful.
Why am I not successful?
I feel miserable.
I've noticed a trend over the last two years or so with many coaching clients. Many seem to be doing the second method of comparing quite frequently and the internet seems to have increased this. The main culprit appears to be Facebook.
Facebook is a great way to reconnect with, or stay in contact with, relatives, friends, classmates, etc.. But we must remember that most of what we see on Facebook is the image that that person wants to show off to the world (in many cases).
I know many of you know this already, but it can be difficult to remember when we are feeling down. Generally we are not seeing the real person, it's just what they would like reflected to everyone else.
Then we end up unhappy because we assume that everyone else is happy. The truth is we have no idea what is really going on in their lives. Even the people we are close to, oftentimes we don't really know what's going on in their lives.
I encourage you this week to see how often you make these comparisons. Then start eliminating them. When you find yourself comparing, remind yourself that you don't really know what's going on.
Look at your own life. Ask yourself, "What can I control?", "What can I do", these two questions can lead to some powerful growth when you spend time reflecting on them.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Two Kangaroos
Hello Everyone,
I hope that your week is off to a wonderful start.
News
If you are in need of personal training, I offer one on one training or I can create a nutrition and/or workout plan for you.
I can help if you are looking to lose weight, maintain it, or get bigger. I can also help with gaining strength.
Some background info on me:
I am six feet tall (183cm) and I used to be horrifically thin. I weighed around 130lbs (~60kgs) when I was 18.
Over a period of ten years I gained over 100lbs (45kgs) while minimizing fat gain.
I have successfully completed two strict bodybuidling diets.
The first time losing around 15lbs (7kgs) and the second time losing almost 40lbs (18kgs).
I am also experienced in recovering from injuries. I have pulled my lower back twice, had bicep and tricep tendonitis, and had a rotator cuff injury.
I have:
13 years experience with various workout programs. It is composed of:
Six years experience with bodybuilding.
Five years experience with military style training.
Three years experience with mixed martial arts.
Two years experience with powerlifting.
For further information please email bob@oneamazinglife.com
Instead of sharing a quote and my thoughts this week, I'll share a story I found on Paulo Coelho's blog.
Story
Two young kangaroos were playing in the forest when they fell into a very deep pit. They tried to jump out but couldn’t jump high enough to get out of the hole.
Meanwhile, a big group of kangaroos started gathering above the pit – the pit was very deep and the gathered onlookers shouted to the two young kangaroos that it was impossible for them to get out. The older one of the two kangaroos heard the disheartening words of the spectators and after a while gave up and fell asleep, whilst the younger kept jumping and trying harder.
Finally, he managed to jump out of the hole – the spectators were shocked and asked the kangaroo, “When we had told you so many times that it was impossible to get out, what was the reason that you tried even harder?”
The kangaroo was shocked because as he was partially deaf. He told them: “Looking at all of you standing there cheering me gave me the strength to succeed in my mission of getting out of the pit.” Always remember the affect your words have on others.
Have an awesome week.
Bob
I hope that your week is off to a wonderful start.
News
If you are in need of personal training, I offer one on one training or I can create a nutrition and/or workout plan for you.
I can help if you are looking to lose weight, maintain it, or get bigger. I can also help with gaining strength.
Some background info on me:
I am six feet tall (183cm) and I used to be horrifically thin. I weighed around 130lbs (~60kgs) when I was 18.
Over a period of ten years I gained over 100lbs (45kgs) while minimizing fat gain.
I have successfully completed two strict bodybuidling diets.
The first time losing around 15lbs (7kgs) and the second time losing almost 40lbs (18kgs).
I am also experienced in recovering from injuries. I have pulled my lower back twice, had bicep and tricep tendonitis, and had a rotator cuff injury.
I have:
13 years experience with various workout programs. It is composed of:
Six years experience with bodybuilding.
Five years experience with military style training.
Three years experience with mixed martial arts.
Two years experience with powerlifting.
For further information please email bob@oneamazinglife.com
Instead of sharing a quote and my thoughts this week, I'll share a story I found on Paulo Coelho's blog.
Story
Two young kangaroos were playing in the forest when they fell into a very deep pit. They tried to jump out but couldn’t jump high enough to get out of the hole.
Meanwhile, a big group of kangaroos started gathering above the pit – the pit was very deep and the gathered onlookers shouted to the two young kangaroos that it was impossible for them to get out. The older one of the two kangaroos heard the disheartening words of the spectators and after a while gave up and fell asleep, whilst the younger kept jumping and trying harder.
Finally, he managed to jump out of the hole – the spectators were shocked and asked the kangaroo, “When we had told you so many times that it was impossible to get out, what was the reason that you tried even harder?”
The kangaroo was shocked because as he was partially deaf. He told them: “Looking at all of you standing there cheering me gave me the strength to succeed in my mission of getting out of the pit.” Always remember the affect your words have on others.
Have an awesome week.
Bob
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Mind Like a Child
News
No new updates for this week.
Quote
"Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do."
-John Wooden
My Thoughts
When you want to try something new do you think of all the reasons you can't do it? Or do you think of the reasons why you can? Many people tend to think of why something won't work and then usually give up before ever trying. Yet we weren't always this way. Most people when they were younger believed anything was possible.
I'll share a story with you.
Over the past week, I was fortunate enough to work with a lot of children. They were aged between 6-13. I've never really worked with children before so it was a new experience for me. Most of the younger children were so full of energy and enthusiasm. So many of them were smiling and laughing. It was so great to see. They were curious and asked a lot of questions. They freely shared their dreams of wanting to be athletes, astronauts, doctors, lawyers, etc.. and nobody in the room laughed at them. It was beautiful.
We often forget that we were all once like them. We could be anything we wanted. Then somewhere along the way, we ended up becoming conditioned. People start judging us and we start judging others, we may even make fun of their hopes and dreams.
Imagine if you had the fearlessness of a child. Imagine if you had the curiosity of a child. What would you be doing differently?
I encourage everyone this week to try and open your mind. Attempt to experience life as though you were a child.
Have a phenomenal week.
No new updates for this week.
Quote
"Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do."
-John Wooden
My Thoughts
When you want to try something new do you think of all the reasons you can't do it? Or do you think of the reasons why you can? Many people tend to think of why something won't work and then usually give up before ever trying. Yet we weren't always this way. Most people when they were younger believed anything was possible.
I'll share a story with you.
Over the past week, I was fortunate enough to work with a lot of children. They were aged between 6-13. I've never really worked with children before so it was a new experience for me. Most of the younger children were so full of energy and enthusiasm. So many of them were smiling and laughing. It was so great to see. They were curious and asked a lot of questions. They freely shared their dreams of wanting to be athletes, astronauts, doctors, lawyers, etc.. and nobody in the room laughed at them. It was beautiful.
We often forget that we were all once like them. We could be anything we wanted. Then somewhere along the way, we ended up becoming conditioned. People start judging us and we start judging others, we may even make fun of their hopes and dreams.
Imagine if you had the fearlessness of a child. Imagine if you had the curiosity of a child. What would you be doing differently?
I encourage everyone this week to try and open your mind. Attempt to experience life as though you were a child.
Have a phenomenal week.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Judgements
Hello Everyone,
I hope that you had an amazing weekend.
News
I received an email early last week asking me if I could help out a worthy cause. I checked it out and decided that I would.
Here is the info:
The Westfall Foundation has launched a new campaign titled “Commit To Your
Health”. With the release of a series of fitness and exercise DVDs,
the campaign is geared towards raising awareness for those who suffer
from Friedreich’s Ataxia, which is a rare inherited disease
Kerry Westfall himself performs all exercises while in his
wheelchair; however he made it a solid point to produce a DVD where
people who are not in need of a wheelchair may also perform all
exercises. The video absolutely amazing and the foundation sells them
in order to raise funds to cure Friedreich’s Ataxia.
Kerry Westfall was diagnosed at a young age with the debilitating
disease called Friedreich’s Ataxia. Friedreich's Ataxia (also
called FA or FRDA) is a rare inherited disease that causes nervous
system damage and movement problems. Symptoms of FA include pain,
shortness of breath, and heart palpitations. Though impaired by this
disease and wheelchair bound, having FA did not discourage Kerry from
trying to lead a normal life.
For more information on the “Commit to your health” campaign, to
obtain a DVD or donate to the Westfall Foundation cause please visit:
http://cts.vresp.com/c/?BeautifulPlanningMar/46dd0f3791/057e9e387f/a565894953
You can also view a 5 minute trailer for the DVD at the link above.
About the Westfall Foundation
The Westfall Foundation is a national 501(C)(3) tax-deductible
charity. The Westfall Foundation is dedicated to the pursuit of
funding medical research leading to treatments, cures and an overall
better understanding of neuromuscular and Central Nervous System
(CNS) diseases, such as Friedreich’s Ataxia, Multiple Scleroses and
Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s diseases. The Westfall Foundation`s
mission is to award grants which contribute to finding cures and
effective treatments for the mentioned diseases. The Westfall
Foundation understands the power of people, thus our second objective
is to fund other 501(C)(3) organizations who are actively sponsoring
research initiatives to find effective treatments for diseases
classified as neuromuscular and neurodegenerative, as well as CNS
diseases, such as Alzheimer`s and Parkinson’s disease.
Why am I sharing this?
Well a very close friend of my family has muscular dystrophy and when I was growing up I saw first hand at what it did to him. Over the last 25 years he went from being able to walk to not being able to do anything on his own. Doctors say that he will die soon.
If you purchase the DVD, your money will go to charity. You can also donate your time and/or money to the Westfall Foundation.
Quote
"Judgements prevent us from seeing the good that lies beyond appearances."
-Wayne Dyer
My Thoughts
It is so easy sometimes for us to judge others. We look at people and determine good/bad, right/wrong, beautiful/ugly, smart/stupid, etc... Oftentimes we do this to people that we've never met. We hear a rumor or a news story and judge them.
Recently, this has happened with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Tiger Woods. I heard someone say recently how idiotic they both are and that they would never do that. Really? I asked this individual if he had ever been put in a similar situation as them and he said no. I wondered how would he respond if placed in even a remotely similar situation. Would he hold the moral high ground? Or would he give in to temptation?
Now don't get me wrong I am not condoning their actions, but there is always more to the story. We will never know 100% what lead them to their current situation.
Of course I haven't mentioned about not placing people on pedestals. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone has their own challenges to face. But that is for another week.
I'd like to share a story with you.
My younger brother was shot in the chest last week. He managed to survive and somehow wasn't seriously injured. I don't have all the details yet, but apparently it was a set up to steal his drugs and cash. One guy approached him to buy drugs and he went somewhere with him. As the transaction took place the guy attempted to fight with my brother and another guy stepped out from behind a wall and shot my brother in the chest.
This happened minutes away from where we grew up in Philadelphia. Besides getting shot in the chest the other disappointing news is that evidently my brother is back to dealing again. He will turn 27 this year and if he lives to be 30 I would be amazed. Remember 2 months ago he had his faced smashed in with a club. Assuming he doesn't get killed first, I have a feeling he will end up in prison again soon.
Now it would be very easy for me to judge him. Call him a moron and point out reasons why he is a moron. This is the approach the rest of my family has taken. This approach hasn't worked in the past and it won't work now.
What he needs is:
1. A program that can show him with real world examples that their is a different way out and tools which will enable him to have lasting change.
2. A strong support group
3. He needs to relocate.
When he got out of prison in 2009, I called him everyday and provided him some basic coaching plus I was the real world example for him. However, I couldn't provide the other two factors that he would need to have a serious shot at getting better.
He hit bottom in 2009, but now that shock has worn off and he is back to his old ways so before a program like I mentioned above would be effective he would need to hit bottom again. For most people getting shot in the chest would do that, but unfortunately for him I don't think it has.
The point of this is that somewhere inside of him he still has goodness left. By judging him we are not able to come up with potential ways to benefit him and society. Judging others clouds our thinking and pushes us apart.
I encourage all of you to try and understand others instead of judging them. In doing this you will also learn a great deal about yourself.
Have an incredible week.
Bob
I hope that you had an amazing weekend.
News
I received an email early last week asking me if I could help out a worthy cause. I checked it out and decided that I would.
Here is the info:
The Westfall Foundation has launched a new campaign titled “Commit To Your
Health”. With the release of a series of fitness and exercise DVDs,
the campaign is geared towards raising awareness for those who suffer
from Friedreich’s Ataxia, which is a rare inherited disease
Kerry Westfall himself performs all exercises while in his
wheelchair; however he made it a solid point to produce a DVD where
people who are not in need of a wheelchair may also perform all
exercises. The video absolutely amazing and the foundation sells them
in order to raise funds to cure Friedreich’s Ataxia.
Kerry Westfall was diagnosed at a young age with the debilitating
disease called Friedreich’s Ataxia. Friedreich's Ataxia (also
called FA or FRDA) is a rare inherited disease that causes nervous
system damage and movement problems. Symptoms of FA include pain,
shortness of breath, and heart palpitations. Though impaired by this
disease and wheelchair bound, having FA did not discourage Kerry from
trying to lead a normal life.
For more information on the “Commit to your health” campaign, to
obtain a DVD or donate to the Westfall Foundation cause please visit:
http://cts.vresp.com/c/?
You can also view a 5 minute trailer for the DVD at the link above.
About the Westfall Foundation
The Westfall Foundation is a national 501(C)(3) tax-deductible
charity. The Westfall Foundation is dedicated to the pursuit of
funding medical research leading to treatments, cures and an overall
better understanding of neuromuscular and Central Nervous System
(CNS) diseases, such as Friedreich’s Ataxia, Multiple Scleroses and
Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s diseases. The Westfall Foundation`s
mission is to award grants which contribute to finding cures and
effective treatments for the mentioned diseases. The Westfall
Foundation understands the power of people, thus our second objective
is to fund other 501(C)(3) organizations who are actively sponsoring
research initiatives to find effective treatments for diseases
classified as neuromuscular and neurodegenerative, as well as CNS
diseases, such as Alzheimer`s and Parkinson’s disease.
Why am I sharing this?
Well a very close friend of my family has muscular dystrophy and when I was growing up I saw first hand at what it did to him. Over the last 25 years he went from being able to walk to not being able to do anything on his own. Doctors say that he will die soon.
If you purchase the DVD, your money will go to charity. You can also donate your time and/or money to the Westfall Foundation.
Quote
"Judgements prevent us from seeing the good that lies beyond appearances."
-Wayne Dyer
My Thoughts
It is so easy sometimes for us to judge others. We look at people and determine good/bad, right/wrong, beautiful/ugly, smart/stupid, etc... Oftentimes we do this to people that we've never met. We hear a rumor or a news story and judge them.
Recently, this has happened with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Tiger Woods. I heard someone say recently how idiotic they both are and that they would never do that. Really? I asked this individual if he had ever been put in a similar situation as them and he said no. I wondered how would he respond if placed in even a remotely similar situation. Would he hold the moral high ground? Or would he give in to temptation?
Now don't get me wrong I am not condoning their actions, but there is always more to the story. We will never know 100% what lead them to their current situation.
Of course I haven't mentioned about not placing people on pedestals. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone has their own challenges to face. But that is for another week.
I'd like to share a story with you.
My younger brother was shot in the chest last week. He managed to survive and somehow wasn't seriously injured. I don't have all the details yet, but apparently it was a set up to steal his drugs and cash. One guy approached him to buy drugs and he went somewhere with him. As the transaction took place the guy attempted to fight with my brother and another guy stepped out from behind a wall and shot my brother in the chest.
This happened minutes away from where we grew up in Philadelphia. Besides getting shot in the chest the other disappointing news is that evidently my brother is back to dealing again. He will turn 27 this year and if he lives to be 30 I would be amazed. Remember 2 months ago he had his faced smashed in with a club. Assuming he doesn't get killed first, I have a feeling he will end up in prison again soon.
Now it would be very easy for me to judge him. Call him a moron and point out reasons why he is a moron. This is the approach the rest of my family has taken. This approach hasn't worked in the past and it won't work now.
What he needs is:
1. A program that can show him with real world examples that their is a different way out and tools which will enable him to have lasting change.
2. A strong support group
3. He needs to relocate.
When he got out of prison in 2009, I called him everyday and provided him some basic coaching plus I was the real world example for him. However, I couldn't provide the other two factors that he would need to have a serious shot at getting better.
He hit bottom in 2009, but now that shock has worn off and he is back to his old ways so before a program like I mentioned above would be effective he would need to hit bottom again. For most people getting shot in the chest would do that, but unfortunately for him I don't think it has.
The point of this is that somewhere inside of him he still has goodness left. By judging him we are not able to come up with potential ways to benefit him and society. Judging others clouds our thinking and pushes us apart.
I encourage all of you to try and understand others instead of judging them. In doing this you will also learn a great deal about yourself.
Have an incredible week.
Bob
Monday, February 21, 2011
Judging Others
News
No new updates for this week.
Quote
“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”
-Paulo Coelho
Thoughts
This is not directly related to the quote above, but this week I wanted to share a story with you from Paulo Coelho's blog. I highly recommend checking out his blog when you have time:
http://paulocoelhoblog.com/
Tanzan and Ekido were once travelling together down a muddy road. A heavy rain was still falling. Coming around a bend, they met a lovely girl in a silk kimono and sash, unable to cross the intersection.
“Come on, girl,” said Tanzan at once. Lifting her in his arms, he carried her over the mud.
Ekido did not speak again until that night when they reached a lodging temple. Then he no longer could restrain himself.
“We monks can’t be near females,” he told Tanzan, “especially not young and lovely ones. It is dangerous. Why did you do that?”
“I left the girl there,” said Tanzan. “Are you still carrying her?”
---------------------
Have an outstanding week.
No new updates for this week.
Quote
“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”
-Paulo Coelho
Thoughts
This is not directly related to the quote above, but this week I wanted to share a story with you from Paulo Coelho's blog. I highly recommend checking out his blog when you have time:
http://paulocoelhoblog.com/
Tanzan and Ekido were once travelling together down a muddy road. A heavy rain was still falling. Coming around a bend, they met a lovely girl in a silk kimono and sash, unable to cross the intersection.
“Come on, girl,” said Tanzan at once. Lifting her in his arms, he carried her over the mud.
Ekido did not speak again until that night when they reached a lodging temple. Then he no longer could restrain himself.
“We monks can’t be near females,” he told Tanzan, “especially not young and lovely ones. It is dangerous. Why did you do that?”
“I left the girl there,” said Tanzan. “Are you still carrying her?”
---------------------
Have an outstanding week.
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