Attaching Meaning to Events

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Quote
"Clear mind is like the full moon in the sky. Sometimes clouds come and cover it, but the moon is always behind them. Clouds go away, then the moon shines brightly. So don't worry about clear mind: it is always there. When thinking comes, behind it is clear mind. When thinking goes, there is only clear mind. Thinking comes and goes, comes and goes, You must not be attached to the coming or the going."
-Seung Sahn

My Thoughts
An event happens and instead of observing the event as something that just is, we assign meaning to it. If the event is something we perceive as beneficial to us then the event is "good". If the event is not beneficial to us, we label the event as "bad". So we assign these meanings to events and then the meanings we assign stir up all sorts of thoughts and emotions.

Over the last few years, I have learned not to attach too much meaning to events. Of course I am far from perfect, I still can get caught up labeling things that people do or say as good or bad. However, I have made a lot of progress.

I was an intelligence analyst for eleven years, so I was very used to asking why and then doing massive amounts of research into a subject. This was helpful to a point and allowed me to learn many things, but as far as relationships and attachments go asking why can be like a trap especially when you add in assumptions.

I'll give an you an example. Let's suppose that you are in a relationship. One person in the relationship does something that the other person doesn't like. The offended person will often ask why, and then assume they know the answer. This will then create a circle that can fuel anger. Finally when you decide to talk to your partner about whatever it was that offended you, you will most likely come across as accusatory. This will then lead to an argument. Perhaps you make up, or maybe you break up, but whatever assumptions you came up with to the why question will continue to cause arguments in your relationship, or follow you into future relationships.

All of this comes from attaching meaning to an event that just is. None of us can remain truly objective in a situation (unless we are able to observe it as just is), we will drag all of our past conditioning, beliefs, etc... into the situation. Then we declare it as good or bad. Some things we tend to believe in so strongly we aren't even able to consider another's point of view. We will label them as ignorant, stupid, misinformed, etc...

I think part of growth is opening your mind to other people's point of view. I am not saying you immediately start accepting everything that comes your way, but at least make an effort to look at it from different angles.

I encourage you to look at some of your most strongly held views, especially those that judge groups of people, and explore them. Where did those views come from? Do these views benefit humanity as a whole? Once you've identified some of these views, I recommend that you explore the view from other angles.

Have an excellent week.