Where Do You Stand?

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Quote
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. "
-Martin Luther King, Jr.

Thoughts
It is quite easy to be happy with life when things are going our way. It is easy to stand by our convictions when most people agree with us. But what about the times when nothing seems to be working? What about when most are against you? This is where the challenge lies.

Where do you stand?

1. Do you find yourself generally able to maintain an emotional balance regardless of outside circumstances? If so, then you are off to a great start to achieving your dreams.

or

2. Do you find yourself one day complaining about your boss, coworkers, etc..? Then a few days later you are a happy? Then a few days after that you are back to complaining again?
If so, I will tell you that this will get you nowhere. Riding that emotional roller coaster will not lead you to much progress.

Interestingly enough most people are really not aware that they fall into category two. Why? Because they are not aware of the thoughts that are running through their heads. If you are unsure if you fit into this category, I suggest you :
I. Look back over you facebook status updates, twitter updates, text messages, etc...
II. If you keep a diary, go back through and see how often you fluctuate.
III. Make a conscious effort to become more aware of your thoughts and feelings

Remember, Thoughts cause Feelings cause Actions cause Results.

If you find yourself in category 2, what can you do?
I. Ask yourself, "Do I desire to change?". By the way the answer isn't always yes because some people have become so identified with their fluctuating feelings that it becomes part of their "story".
II. If you desire to change, the next step is to really become aware of your thoughts. You can do this through conscious effort, meditation, keeping a diary, hiring a competent certified coach, etc..
III. Start gaining emotional control. How?
-It starts with your thoughts.
Ex: Suppose you are angry at someone for one reason or another (which generally is caused by a misperception of events).
Do not suppress the feeling. Allow the feeling to go through you but stop adding fuel to the fire. Basically break the thought cycle that automatically starts when you are angry.
Then begin trying to shift your perception: Am I willing to explore other ways to look at this? Is there possibly another way to look at the situation? What can I learn from this situation? etc..

You will then begin the process of gaining emotional control.

By the way, if you are dealing with anger issues, forgiveness issues, etc...I recommend two things:
1. Start to seriously think of every single person as your mother (or another loved one).
2. Every time you think of the person that causes you pain, wish them well. Remember don't suppress the feeling. Ex: I hate xxxx. I wish xxxx would get run over by a truck......but if that doesn't happen I wish them well. Now the trick here is that you must do it every single time you have these thoughts about the person causing you pain.
Two books I recommend on that subject:
-"The Four Noble Truths" by the Dalai Lama
-"Building Your Field of Dreams" by Mary Morrissey

The above steps are not easy. But I can tell you from personal experience that if you keep doing them then they will eventually turn into a habit. Once it becomes a habit it is much easier to do them.

Have an incredible week.